I’m not sure how this could happen. The idiot found a way to turn me completely upside down when all I wanted was to be left alone.
“You okay Sarah?” Dee asked from across the bistro table.
The steam from my vanilla latte invaded my senses and I tried to calm the quivering in my gut, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just ready to get this last final done and get back home to Kentucky.”
Rhode Island was a fine enough state, but Kentucky didn’t have a blond-haired, green-eyed, pro-football player who caused me to feel things I didn’t have time to feel. Dad would lose his mind if I came home from an ivy league college with anything other than a perfect G.P.A.
“Let’s go, Dee. I need to get back to studying and then finish packing.”
This time of year was my absolute favorite. Trees had turned well into the deep oranges and reds of fall while teasing tendrils of chilly New England air tossed around fallen leaves like the limbs of a marionette. There was just something calming about it all. Peaceful.
“Does your mom have a big party planned for when you get home this weekend?” Dee asked as we walked back across campus to the doom we shared.
“I would be surprised if she didn’t.” I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “You know there’s a certain level of appearances that must be kept for the Governor and his trophy family.”
Dee giggled at my sarcasm.
As sarcastic as my comment was, it was true. Governor Richmond and his actress wife, Susan, were everything you would expect from a wealthy political couple. The son who became an orthopedic surgeon, currently overseas with Doctors Without Borders, and the younger daughter in her final year of graduate school at Brown. One dreaded final away from a doctorate in biomechanical engineering.
“You going to tell them about Devon?”
Dee whispered his name as if it might turn rancid on her tongue. I swallowed the mouthful of latte still lingering in my mouth and acted as if I considered Dee’s question. I knew good and well I would never in a million years tell my parents about Devon.
“I can’t, Dee. I can’t go home and have my parents find out about him.”
Dee grabbed hold of my arm and stalled our walk. Her deep brown eyes matched the mocha tone of her skin beautifully. The caramel hue to her bouncing curls gave her an innocent demeanor which now looked heartbroken.
“Is this what’s been bothering you today? I could tell something was off but figured it was just finals.”
Tears welled behind my lowered lashes as emotions from the past few months became suddenly too overwhelming to contain.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. My family would lose their minds. I wasn’t supposed to be doing anything other than finishing up my doctorate and starting on Daddy’s campaign before med school in the spring.”
Dee must have seen the hysteria quickly on its way. She pulled me off the cobblestone pathway and down onto a nearby bench.
“Why does it not surprise me you would make this much more difficult than it has to be?” Dee asked with a tone full of empathy.
Quiet sobs racked my hunched frame. I’m not sure what caused me the most pain, the heartbreak of losing Devon, or the disappointment in my father’s eyes when I arrived home.
Dee softly rubbed my back in a show of comfort.
“I have to stop seeing him. It has gone too far.” It had become more difficult to talk in between bouts of crying. “I fell in love with him, Dee.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
My hands fell from my face as I wiped away the dampness with the sleeve of my heather gray cardigan. Dee looked at me confused. As if I didn’t make any sense.
“You don’t understand. My life has a plan. Devon throws a mega-wrench right down the center of it,” I said.
“Does that bother you?”
Shocked by her question, I realized I never thought about whether the Plan was something I wanted for myself. I just followed orders. My father’s orders. It was easier that way. I just showed up and excelled. Usually.
“I guess I never thought much about it. Does that sound stupid? To be nearly twenty-three and never finding anything odd about having my life planned for me?”
“Not if you don’t know anything different,” Dee said.
Devon showed up in my tribology class four months ago, and ever since has caused chaos in my mind and recklessness in my heart.
I skipped classes and learned how to throw a football. I was shown that ’90s hip hop could give you the answers to life while laying out under the stars on the roof of the mathematics building. I made love in the bed of a truck while a summer rain tapped a staccato across my skin.
As if conjured by sure will, Devon’s presence pulled at me from across the semi-crowded courtyard. He approached from my left; his long, lean legs ate up the space between us like a starved animal. Freshly showered, dampened hair hung heavy while it caressed the nape of his neck. His eyes pierced mine without abandon. The look in his gaze told me the apocalypse would have to show its face and physically remove him.
Dee had stopped talking and followed my gaze.
“Mmm. He always looks so good. I prefer him in those football pants, though. They show off that tight – “
“Hey!” I snapped, stopping my best friend from finishing out that sentence.
She laughed in response, seemingly pleased by the reaction she pulled from me.
“Well, it seems I need to go and – do something.”
Dee rose and started off toward Granoff Hall, patting Devon on the shoulder as she passed.
“Can we talk? Please?” Devon asked.
It was hard for me to deny him of anything, and he knew it.
“Yeah,” I said in response.
Devon lowered his six-foot frame onto the stone bench where I sat. His lean arms crossed in nervousness while his shoulder brushed lightly against mine. The smallest of unconscious touches ignited a blaze of want within me nearly impossible to ignore.
“Look, I know I don’t come from much. My dad was a drunk and my mom left before I ever said my first word. I was tossed in and out of foster care my entire life but somehow found my way to Brown on a full athletic scholarship. I can’t give you money, but I can give you me. What’s left of me anyway. You deserve – “
“Devon, stop.” I couldn’t bear it anymore. My tear-streaked hand landed on top of his, searching. Devon turned his palm flush with mine, warmth invaded the colder, more fragile, parts of my broken heart. “There is nothing wrong with you. You’re wonderful.”
“I don’t understand the note then. I thought last night was perfect. The dinner, the gift, everything. You seemed happy. We didn’t even make it to the good news because of how happy you were.” Devon smirked at the insinuation.
Last night was perfect. Devon surprised me with a dinner he cooked himself and a beautiful locket that contained our initials. My kiss of appreciation turned into much more. I showed my appreciation a few times actually, and in a few creative ways.
I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. Passion was one thing neither of us lacked. It was organic, the way we fit and how complete we felt when in the presence of the other. Even now, consumed with guilt and grief, it all blew away on the tail end of a breeze as soon as Devon’s touch found me.
“Yeah, well. Those were some damn good Crab Rangoon’s,” I replied.
Devon laughed and I allowed it to wash over me one last time. I couldn’t lose focus of what I needed to do. What we needed to do. “Look, I need to say something.”
Devon held up his hand, cutting me off from continuing with my thought. “Let me go first,” He said.
I nodded in agreement. It allowed me a moment to recollect my thoughts.
“I got a call yesterday morning from Coach. It wasn’t good.” Devon moved his eyes away from mine and took a deep breath.
Oh my god, if something happened to Devon’s football scholarship he would be devastated. I can’t drop this news on him today!
“It was great,” he belted. The sudden rise in octave startled me. “I was scouted, Sarah! An NFL scout was at the game last week and they want me in L.A. in two weeks. This is it. This is our window!”
“What are you talking about? What do you mean this is our window? I have school, Dad’s campaign trail starts in a few weeks – “
“Forget all of that!” Devon stood swiftly from the cold stone bench and pulled me along with him. The calluses which marred the tips of his fingers were rough against the underside of my cheek. His hand gently cupped my face as his shimmering green eyes leveled me with a look of pure adoration. “I love you, Sarah. More than I have ever loved anything in this world. From the second your beautiful hazel eyes glared at me in annoyance; I knew I was never going to be able to let you go.”
The memory of that day hit me hard. So cliché, the brainiac and the football star. Unfortunately, for both of us, it was all but a short-lived moment in time.
Before I could open my mouth to tell him I was leaving Rhode Island, going back home to fulfill my familial duty of finishing medical school and supporting my father’s political ambitions, Devon stunned me further into silence.
Soft, lushly tended grass bowed under Devon’s knee as he knelt before me. A small leather box glistened in the midmorning sun as it was tenderly pulled from the front pocket of his dark overcoat. “Marry me, Sarah?” Devon asked. “As I said, I can’t give you money and I can’t give you the opulence you’re accustomed to, but I can love you. I love you now, I will love you tomorrow, and I will love you until the day I take my last breath.”
My hands left Devon’s as they came to cover my mouth in astonishment.
This can’t be happening.
Without forethought, my mouth opened, and the words flew from me unabashedly, “I’m pregnant”.
Devon’s eyes grew in size, and I knew this was it. I had ruined it for us. His dreams of playing professional football were over. I would be disowned, kicked out of my parent’s estate, and my trust fund liquidated to be given to charity. The scandal of coming back from college with a kid out of wedlock would bring my politically royal family to its knees.
My anguish turned into undiluted hysteria. “I’m so sorry Devon. I didn’t intend for this to happen. I can’t stay here and ruin this for you. I have to go back home. I have to figure out how I’m going to tell my parents.” The ramblings continued to spew from my lips.
Devon stood and pulled me into him. His soft lips pressed firmly against mine, effectively shutting me up. After what felt like an eternity, Devon pulled back.
“You will do no such thing,” he said. “I love you, Sarah Richmond, and my feelings haven’t changed. We can do this, together. Come with me to L.A... Accept the offer Stanford gave you and finish medical school there. Let me take care of you. Let me take care of both of you.”
His words were beautiful, but it was the look in his eyes that told me everything was going to be okay. The calming aura Devon had about him soothed me. My other half. My soulmate. My everything.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s do this.”